This time of the year is always a rougher time of the year for me. For anyone who knows me and my family well...we love the holidays. But...it always reminds of me of Daniel and Evan. This is the time of the year that both passed. Don't get me wrong...I am happy for the way my life has turned out, I just don't like what had to happen for me to get here.
8 years ago...wow...8 years...my highschool boyfriend of 4 years died in a single car accident. I was 18 years old at the time. That Sunday evening will never leave my mind. Daniel left my apartment about 4 pm to head back to Statesboro. About 7-8pm my sister best friend, Lyn-Dee, called me at my apartment to see if you could come hang out. I really did not think much of it - b/c me and Lyn have always gotten along well b/c we are so much a like. Little did I know my mom, sister, and family friend Mrs. Greene were on their way to get me. The police had called my mom b/c Daniel had a check from me in his wallet with my home phone number on it. I cannot imagine taking that call. They did not tell my mom over the phone that he was dead...but I think she had an idea. My mom had sent Lyn over to make sure I did not find out before they got there. I was sitting at my computer talking to Lyn-Dee when my mom walked in...then Katie...then Mrs. Greene. My stomach dropped b/c I could see sadness and fear in their eyes. I said what is going on...mom came to me and said Daniel has been in a car accident and we need to go to the hospital. Immediatly I asked if he was alive...she said she did not know. She really left a little bit of postive thinking in my head - even though I don't think she had any. They helped me get dressed and we packed into that car and drove out to Washington, Ga. We pulled up to the hospital or should I say the Washington clinic and right then is when I knew that if he was alive they would have life flighted him to another real hospital. I walked into the hospital and there was a police officer there and they led us behind some doors where I saw Mr. and Mrs. Elder there crying. Mr. Elder looked at me and said "Daniel's dead." From there I remember bits and pieces. They asked if I wanted to see Daniel and I said yes...but mom thought that was not a good idea. So, after prayers and lots of crying and hugs we left and my mom took me back to Lilburn where all my friends were waiting. Since that say...I always think what if...what if he had not come to see me that weekend? What if I had told him to put his seatbelt on before he left...what if he had taken a different route home. All those questions have gotten really bad since I have become a mother. Before becoming a mom, I always felt bad for Daniel and myself, which was very selfish. Now, all I can think about is Mrs. Elder. I think how bad her heart must hurt. If something like that ever happened to Ellie or Cole...I would not be ok...ever. That is what makes my heart hurt now.
Then...3 years ago...my cousin, Evan was killed at his college in Milledgeville. It was so senseless. I will never forget that call either. Tim heard his phone ringing downstairs at 6 am and ran down to get it and I was still sleeping. He came running up the stairs saying it was my mom and something happened to Evan. I answered and I was my very upset mom telling me Evan was killed. I was pregnant with Ellie at the time so mom wanted me to try to stay calm...but who could in that situation. We jumped in the car and headed to Athens to be with the family. When we walked in I saw my Aunt Phyllis, and it broke my heart. Again, now that I am a mom I hurt for her and Jimmy.
I have had to learn that life is really short and anyone at anytime can be gone. Daniel and Evan have made such an impact on my life...I have learned what is important in life...I want to enjoy every moment with my kids and give them lots of life experiences.
Daniel and Evan were a lot a like. They both liked the outdoors, country music, and mostly they lived like there was no tomorrow - both of them were fun people who did not care what other people thought. I appreciate that.
I know they found each other on the other side and now Grampa is there playing, fishing, and cutting grass with them. It makes me feel better to know Grampa is with them to keep them in line.
Ok...well enough of that...I just needed to get that out b/c I don't really like to talk about it b/c it gets awkward and sometimes I feel like I want to cry and I don't like to do that in front of people anymore. So...I am taking the awkwardness out of it by writing about it. So...if you have kids give them hugs and lots of kisses and appreciate every moment you have with them.
If anyone has any good memories with either Daniel or Evan...please comment on here - I would love to show their moms...I know I would like to hear good memories if I were in their situation.