This time of the year is always a rougher time of the year for me. For anyone who knows me and my family well...we love the holidays. But...it always reminds of me of Daniel and Evan. This is the time of the year that both passed. Don't get me wrong...I am happy for the way my life has turned out, I just don't like what had to happen for me to get here.
8 years ago...wow...8 years...my highschool boyfriend of 4 years died in a single car accident. I was 18 years old at the time. That Sunday evening will never leave my mind. Daniel left my apartment about 4 pm to head back to Statesboro. About 7-8pm my sister best friend, Lyn-Dee, called me at my apartment to see if you could come hang out. I really did not think much of it - b/c me and Lyn have always gotten along well b/c we are so much a like. Little did I know my mom, sister, and family friend Mrs. Greene were on their way to get me. The police had called my mom b/c Daniel had a check from me in his wallet with my home phone number on it. I cannot imagine taking that call. They did not tell my mom over the phone that he was dead...but I think she had an idea. My mom had sent Lyn over to make sure I did not find out before they got there. I was sitting at my computer talking to Lyn-Dee when my mom walked in...then Katie...then Mrs. Greene. My stomach dropped b/c I could see sadness and fear in their eyes. I said what is going on...mom came to me and said Daniel has been in a car accident and we need to go to the hospital. Immediatly I asked if he was alive...she said she did not know. She really left a little bit of postive thinking in my head - even though I don't think she had any. They helped me get dressed and we packed into that car and drove out to Washington, Ga. We pulled up to the hospital or should I say the Washington clinic and right then is when I knew that if he was alive they would have life flighted him to another real hospital. I walked into the hospital and there was a police officer there and they led us behind some doors where I saw Mr. and Mrs. Elder there crying. Mr. Elder looked at me and said "Daniel's dead." From there I remember bits and pieces. They asked if I wanted to see Daniel and I said yes...but mom thought that was not a good idea. So, after prayers and lots of crying and hugs we left and my mom took me back to Lilburn where all my friends were waiting. Since that say...I always think what if...what if he had not come to see me that weekend? What if I had told him to put his seatbelt on before he left...what if he had taken a different route home. All those questions have gotten really bad since I have become a mother. Before becoming a mom, I always felt bad for Daniel and myself, which was very selfish. Now, all I can think about is Mrs. Elder. I think how bad her heart must hurt. If something like that ever happened to Ellie or Cole...I would not be ok...ever. That is what makes my heart hurt now.
Then...3 years ago...my cousin, Evan was killed at his college in Milledgeville. It was so senseless. I will never forget that call either. Tim heard his phone ringing downstairs at 6 am and ran down to get it and I was still sleeping. He came running up the stairs saying it was my mom and something happened to Evan. I answered and I was my very upset mom telling me Evan was killed. I was pregnant with Ellie at the time so mom wanted me to try to stay calm...but who could in that situation. We jumped in the car and headed to Athens to be with the family. When we walked in I saw my Aunt Phyllis, and it broke my heart. Again, now that I am a mom I hurt for her and Jimmy.
I have had to learn that life is really short and anyone at anytime can be gone. Daniel and Evan have made such an impact on my life...I have learned what is important in life...I want to enjoy every moment with my kids and give them lots of life experiences.
Daniel and Evan were a lot a like. They both liked the outdoors, country music, and mostly they lived like there was no tomorrow - both of them were fun people who did not care what other people thought. I appreciate that.
I know they found each other on the other side and now Grampa is there playing, fishing, and cutting grass with them. It makes me feel better to know Grampa is with them to keep them in line.
Ok...well enough of that...I just needed to get that out b/c I don't really like to talk about it b/c it gets awkward and sometimes I feel like I want to cry and I don't like to do that in front of people anymore. So...I am taking the awkwardness out of it by writing about it. So...if you have kids give them hugs and lots of kisses and appreciate every moment you have with them.
If anyone has any good memories with either Daniel or Evan...please comment on here - I would love to show their moms...I know I would like to hear good memories if I were in their situation.
6 comments:
Jules I think about Daniel all the time still! I can't help it whenever I hear the Elton John song that they played at his funeral. Often I want to write his parents a letter to let them know that people have not forgotten about them. I know it's probably still tough for them, and years later many people probably don't check in on them as often. There's no need to feel guilty about anything at this point. You can't make people drive safely, and you can't make them buckle a seatbelt. If we can look on the bright side of this, it's that hopefully many people learned a lesson from his situation and will think twice before driving without being buckled. I'm sorry to hear that this time of the year still bothers you, but glad that you still think about him because I certainly do a lot :)
Towner
Hey Julie! That is definitely a day I will never forget either...as I am sure many will say. Carrie Ann, Kimberly, Valerie and I all lived together at Georgia Southern that year and I think every person who graduated from Parkview with us ended up in our apartment that night talking about him for hours. He made an impact on a lot of people that he probably never knew. I remember that I had Freshman Algebra with him that year and he used to wear sweatpants to class EVERY day, no matter if it was hot or not and I used to laugh at him for it! :) He will always be remembered for the great guy that he was and I still think about him regularly as well. He would be happy to know what a great family you have and that you are doing well. :)
Jules!!! I am thinking about you, Daniel, and his family during this time! I remember it all like it was yesterday...it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do! Daniel was blessed to have you in his life for all those years, nd we are all better people for having Daniel in ours. I know that Daniel, Evan, and Grandpa are sitting around sharing some "Julie stories" right now! I still often wonder why these people have been taken from us, but it is not for us to figure out. We trust in God and trust that all this has happened fro a reason.
I love you! Be grateful everyday for the family you have!!!! You're one lucky girl! Hug those babies for me :)
Hey Julie. I just wanted you to know that I still think about Daniel a lot too. He was such a wonderful person and was always so sweet. I remember I had math with him at Parkview and we sat in the back and would always get in trouble for talking too much. That was the same time that you and I had history together. I remember us always telliing one another when it was another month anniv. between you and him and me and Bryan. I still remeber the day I found out. I just couldn't believe it. The day of the service I came from class and got there right before it started. I remeber coming through the door and seeing you. You gave me a hug and told me he would be happy I was there. I thought that was so kind of you to say something so sweet in the midst of all you were going through. I agree with you in that since I have become a parent I have thought more in how it affected his parents. I can't even imagine being put in that situation. As you said...I would go on, but I would never get over it. I still have the paper you gave out with his picture on it when we got together right around his birthday. I will always miss him, but I know we will all get to see him again one day! :)
Hey Julie. I just wanted you to know that I still think about Daniel a lot too. He was such a wonderful person and was always so sweet. I remember I had math with him at Parkview and we sat in the back and would always get in trouble for talking too much. That was the same time that you and I had history together. I remember us always telliing one another when it was another month anniv. between you and him and me and Bryan. I still remeber the day I found out. I just couldn't believe it. The day of the service I came from class and got there right before it started. I remeber coming through the door and seeing you. You gave me a hug and told me he would be happy I was there. I thought that was so kind of you to say something so sweet in the midst of all you were going through. I agree with you in that since I have become a parent I have thought more in how it affected his parents. I can't even imagine being put in that situation. As you said...I would go on, but I would never get over it. I still have the paper you gave out with his picture on it when we got together right around his birthday. I will always miss him, but I know we will all get to see him again one day! :)
I think about Daniel all the time. It is hard for me to believe that is has been 8 years and it is always hard to believe he is not around anymore. I really do miss him!
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